On Bearing Grief

On Bearing Grief

Bearing grief.  There are three things that every human will endure at some point in their lives.  They cannot be avoided.  But did you know they can be prepared for?  Find out more right now.

Sorrow, suffering and sickness from a major loss are all things all humans must bear as children, as teens and assuredly as adults.  Grief from a major loss is all too often left out of one’s plans, one’s dreams and aspirations.  It simply isn’t considered by most young people and it isn’t considered enough by those approaching or in middle aged life.  Grief can and should be part of everyone’s life preparedness plans.

“The notion that suddenly (or eventually) the sorrow somehow dissipates is a fable that has been created by the empty slogans of people who have never suffered deep loss. Why do we feel ashamed of sorrow as though it is some sort of leprous emotion? Why do we hide our tears when our Savior wept openly at the death of a friend? The ability to sorrow and weep is a gift from God and is a sure sign of a living heart and a greater love. The pain remains and the tears come like rogue waves, but God has somehow enabled us all to live through the unthinkable. We are here. We live on in our sorrow and with our pain. We live in His grace.” (https://svbaptistchurch.wordpress.com/2019/05/21/little-feet/)

As we grow up in junior high or high school, most of us are given strong and wise advice to start planning for our future.  Those plans might include the kind of person we want to be, what kind person we’d like to marry, what kind and how much education we should get, what kind of job we’d like to spend our life doing, how much money we can make doing that kind of work.  Those are the highlights of life, serious to consider, fun to think about, a joy to realize.  It’s like climbing a high mountain to enjoy the view and see where you’d like to be.

The deeper consideration, though, is to consider and plan for the dark shadows of the mountain, the dreary valleys of despondence that come when things don’t go so well, when one’s mind is wracked in agony following a most unexpected and undesirable event.  That’s when grief becomes known, things like failing a crucial course and having to do it over again, like facing embarrassment and loss of income after losing one’s job, like facing an unexpected divorce, or possibly the worst of life’s dark valleys, the death of one’s wife, husband, child, father, mother, or sibling.  But, if I were a gambler, a safe bet might be that more than 90% of us never consider those things let alone plan for them. 

So how does one plan for one’s own grief?  Or is it better to deal with grief willy-nilly when it comes?  I think it is not pessimistic to plan for grief.  When planning a career or for any other major decision, one spends hours, months and years working on the details.  Trusting on my own experience, I can tell you that I had spent considerable time preparing for the different types of grief that will come into everyone’s lives.  Planning, whether one is Christian or not, is the bedrock of comfort.  Planning for grief will only be appreciated once the unexpected, the most unwanted of times, has occurred.  Planning on how to handle one’s own grief is not pessimistic; it is realistic; it is the foundation of wisdom.

The Bible says Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.  The Lord speaks of wisdom some 58 times in the Proverbs and well over 225 times in the entire Bible.  Do you think God thinks wisdom is important? 

There is more to preparing for grief; but that is for the Christians who are steeped in his word.  They are words which I would never present to an unsaved soul or to a new Christian.  They are words given in knowledge that surpasses understanding to a unsaved mind and a babe in Christ.  Only the Word of God can bring the epiphanies that cannot be shared with the uninitiated. 

Grief is unavoidable; but it can be gotten through by careful preparation, the kind of preparation that got you through all of your previous or upcoming education.  For more information, here’s where to begin your own preparations for unavoidable, unsavory grief.

1. The Holy Bible, King James Version. Why only KJV? Get my free booklet to find out why it’s the only study Bible for me, and why it should be for you, too.  The Link is on my homepage.
2. A Grace Disguised, Jerry Sittser; Zondervan; Grand Rapids, MI.

3. A Maze Of Grace, Paul W. Chapell; Striving Together Publications, Lancaster, CA.

4. Bitter Or Better, Don Sisk; Striving Together Publications, Lancaster, CA.

5. Christian Experience: Or Words Of Loving Councel And Sympathy, Mary Winslow; William Hunt and Company, London; 1868.

6. Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, Mark Vroegop; Crossway, Wheaton, IL

7. Day By Day, Vance Havner; Fleming H. Revell Company, Westwood, NJ.

8. Giants Of The Missionary Trail, Scripture Press Foundation, Chicago, IL.

9. Grace, Max Lucado; Thomas Nelson, Nashville, TN.

10. How To Get Through What You’ll Never Get Over: Walking Through Grief By The Grace Of God, Bill Prater; Striving Together Publications, Lancaster, CA.

11. Life As Worship, John Kitchen, Life Fort Washington, PA:CLC Publications.

12. Off Script: What To Do When God Rewrites Your Life, Cary Schmidt; Striving Together Publications, Lancaster, CA.

13. Secret Doubts, Tim Zacharias; Striving Together Publications, Lancaster, CA.

14. The Burden Bearer, Paul W. Chapell; Striving Together Publications, Lancaster, CA.

15. Trusting God in Troubled Times, R.B. Ouellette, Striving Together Publications, Lancaster, CA.